Gaijin Guys Guide to Pick-Up a Japanese Girl

Dating is a hustle and dating can be stressful anywhere in the world. But dating is especially tricky when it comes to picking up Japanese girls in Japan.

It's no secret that Japanese girls make a perfect wife or girlfriend. We are loyal, kind, polite and we are known to treat men like kings. (Literally! My dad doesn't even get up to grab a pair of chopsticks or do his own laundry haha.)

So, you want to find yourself a ‘Yamato Nadeshiko.’ (大和撫子・やまとなでしこ: personification of an idealized Japanese woman. A dream girl. Google it!)

But damn, Japanese girls are so shy and you don't know what they are thinking because they would never tell ya! Is she smiling at you during a date? — That doesn't mean she is into you. Japanese people smile when they are nervous, scared, bored or even worse, when things (I mean the date) are going bad!

I'm not trying to kill your appetite here, but we don't really have the whole ‘dating period’, either. You jump from a friend zone to a ‘boyfriend territory’. Japanese girls would text weeks before even considering going on a first date with you. So you better start streching out your fingers!

But hey, it's just life. If you want something, you have to go after it, right? You gotta start somewhere and I mean somewhere... like picking up a girl, TONIGHT!

So, listen up, Gaijin guys, here are a few Japanese pick-up lines you can use tonight! You're welcome :)

From drama: Densha Otoko (train man). Everyone is very nervous when picking up potential dates!

1) Are you going home? Would you like to grab a drink with me?

仕事帰りですか？もしよかったら飲みに行きませんか？
（しごとがえりですか？もしよかったらのみにいきませんか？）
shigoto gaeri desu ka? moshi yokattara nomi ni ikimasen ka?

Perfect phrase to use to pick up a Japanese girl at night at a train station or 駅のホーム（えきのほーむ）. Since you both are already taking the same lines (線・せん), you know there is a chance you two live close. Score!

2) Excuse me. Do you speak English?

すいません、英語分かりますか？
（すいません、えいごわかりますか？）
suimasen, eigo wakarimasu ka?

The classic pick-up line any Gaijin guy can use! I can't even recall how many Gaijin guys used this line on me haha. I'm guilty of saying ‘no’ with a Japanese accent once in a while :P So, be aware.

3) Would you like to grab a tea?

一緒にお茶しませんか？
（いっしょにおちゃしませんか?）
isshou ni ocha shimasen ka?

We say tea but we mean coffee. This is not England. Nobody's got time for afternoon tea.

4) You look beautiful. Are you a model?

綺麗ですね。もしかしてモデルさん？
（きれいですね。もしかしてもでるさん？）
kirei desu ne. moshikashite moderu-san?

Any girls would be flattered to be mistaken by a model. And since Japanese girls tend to be short, you can freely use this line on any girls who are around 5'4’ (=165cm which is quite tall for a Japanese girl). Obviously, you can substitute 綺麗 with かわいい which is widely used to express someone is cute, pretty or beautiful.

5) Would you like to exchange numbers? Do you have a LINE account?

番号交換しませんか？
（ばんごうこうかんしませんか？）
bangou koukan shimasen ka?

LINE持ってますか？
（LINEもってますか？）
LINE mottemasu ka?

Privacy issue is a huge thing in Japan. So try not to ask for a Japanese girl's number or contact information right off the bat. Those phrases are to be used once you've established a good conversation with her, and you feel like she is interested in you. If you are feeling extra confident, you can say 番号何？（ばんごうなに？）which is ‘What's your number?’ as you take out your phone out of your pocket ;)

6) Could you introduce me (hook me up with) someone?

誰か紹介してくれませんか？
（だれかしょうかいしてくれませんか？）
dareka shoukai shite kuremasenka?

If everything else fails, you can ask your friends this. Good luck!

P.S. — Never say ‘元気(げんき)？’ or ‘お元気ですか？(おげんきですか)’ (ogenki desu ka). We don't really say ‘How are you?’ and ‘お元気ですか？’ actually translates to ‘Are you well/good?’ so the only answer to this questions would be ‘はい、元気です(はい、げんきです)’ which means ‘Yes, I'm well.’ NOT a good conversation starter.

And of course it always helps to speak some Japanese to show you're potential mate of your interest in their culture. The best place to start is right here!